Questions

• what is something (an event) from your childhood that has affected you the most?

• who were your childhood heroes?

• what was your neighborhood like growing up?

• as a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

• what did you want me to be when I grew up?

• what was the most mischievous thing you did as a youngster?

• how did you pull yourself out of ruts during tough times in your childhood?

• how did you handle peer pressure when you were growing up?

• how has society changed since you were a youth?

• what are your views on alcohol and drugs? were these things a part of your youth? how would you counsel me about using them?

• when was a time you got in trouble for lying? what happened? what did you learn from experience?

• what are the greatest hardships you endured as a child?

• have you ever taken a stand against what your friends wanted to do, or did you follow the crowd? what would you have done differently?

• is it better to be self-reliant or to develop a network of friends to call upon for help?

• what things should I stand up for and when should I stay quiet?

• how will I know when to keep quiet and when to speak my mind?

• describe a time when you had the show courage in your youth?

• have you ever had to do something that took a lot of courage? what happened?

• what do you know now that you wish you’d known when you were young?

• how did you get through hard times with bullies at school?

• what kind of child were you (happy, moody, popular, loner, different)?

• what positive or negative events in your youth affected you later as an adult?

• what did you do for fun when you were a teenager?

• did you hae any hobbies or special interests when you were a kid? how were you introduced to them?

• what were your dreams as a teenager? what did you want to do with your life?

• what would you teach a child about gambling? do you believe in gambling?

• did you ever break the law as a youth? or come close? what did you learn from it?

• name a time when you got in a lot of trouble with your parents and were grounded. What did you learn from that experience?

• what qualities and characteristics make a true friend?

• how did you go about selecting your friends in high school?

• who was your first love?

• what should it mean when someone says, “I love you?”

• was there ever a time in your life when you lost your self-esteem? what did you do to rebuild it?

• what things bring you the most pleasure now as compared to when you were a youth?

• what things frighten you now as compared to when you were a youth?

• are you frightened of anything now?

• what three things did you consider becoming when deciding on college or a career?

• are you happy with the profession you chose? why or why not?

• did you go to college? if so, where, and what made you choose that school?

• what tips you give for getting a job?

• what advice would you give about doing well in my profession?

• how would you describe success in the workplace?

• what insight can you share with me about working well with others?

• how did you like school? what were your favorite subjects?

• what are your views on work ethic?

• what was your first job? what was your first job in high school? did you like it? why or why not?

• what was your happiest school day?

• what was the worst job you ever had? why?

• have you ever been fired from or quit a job? what happened?

• what was the most rewarding job you ever had? why was it rewarding?

• what awards have you received in school or at work?

• if money wasn’t an object, what career would you have chosen? why?

• how do you feel about women going to college and getting a career?

• what degrees have you earned?

• as a youth, did you participate in Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, or other organizations? What did you like best about them?

• as a teenager, were you rebellious? if so, why? how did your parents try to guide you?

• who has been your best friend?

• what makes a real friend?

• is it possible to be a complete adult without suffering hardship, adversity, or danger?

• do you think you’re a contented man/woman?

• how do I know when I’ve found the right place to put down roots?

• can you remember your parents laughing? what was the cause?

• do you think you spent too much time at work when we were young?

• looking back through your parent, grant-parents, and so on, what characteristic do we all share?

• what was the greatest gift your parents gave you? have you tried to install the same lessons in your children? do you think you succeeded?

• what did you find the most rewarding about being parent?

• what you have learned from being a parent?

• what advice would you give me about being good parent?

• how is my style of parenthood different from yours?

• what special proverbs have been passed down in your family about how to make it in life or how to have peace of mind?

• of all the things you learned from your parents, which do you feel the most valuable?

• what is your favorite memory of your parents? what were they like?

• are there any stories about famous or infamous relatives in your family? What are they?

• how did you and your parents learn to deal with differences?

• how do you unconditionally love your children?

• how did your parents discipline you? is that the way you would recommend I discipline my children?

• what makes your family truly unique compared to other families?

• what special heirlooms - photos, bibles, or other memorabilia - have been passed down in your family?

• what was your proudest moment as a parent?

• what is your fondest memory of your family?

• if you had to do it all over again, would you changed the raised your family? how?

• what did you find most difficult about raising children?

• what’s the biggest differences between raising sons and daughters?

• what major illnesses or health problems affected your family?

• who were you especially close to in the family? why?

• what family traditions were most important to you?

• do you find yourself saying the same things to me that your parents said to you?

• briefly tell one or more of our family’s best stories or tall tales

• what was the best advice your parents gave you?

• what did you love most about your father? least? why?

• what did you love the most about your mother? least? why?

• why did you have the number of children that you did?

• what responsibilities did your parents require of you while growing up? how did that influence you as a parent?

• what was the easiest thing about raising a family? why?

• have you ever found yourself saying or doing things as a parent that you swore you would never say to your children? what are they?

• what differences do you see in how children are raised today compared to when you were a child?

• how did you balance your work life and your family life?

• what is important to you when raising children?

• what do you wish you would have asked your parents?

• how did you deal with your mom/dad’s death?

• have you ever regretted having children?

• how does a dad/mom get through his/her children’s adolescence?

• what has having children taught you in life?

• if you could write a message to your children and grandchildren and put it in a time capsule for them to read twenty years from now, what would you write to them?

• what family secrets about relatives have you not told me?

• for mom: did you ever have trouble during childbirth? did you lose any children? If so, how did you get through your grief?

• for dad: were there miscarriages or troubles with childbirth? if so, how did you help mom during this difficult time?

• what advice would you give me for being a good sister or brother?

• who was your favorite sibling when you were growing up? did you ever fight?

• how can I make each of my children feel as if they’re the most special?

• how do I become my own person rather than the man society says I should be?

• what should I do when I’m angry with my children?

• what did you like the most, and least, about your parents?

• what was the funniest thing you ever saw your children do?

• did you and mom carefully plan how to raise us, or did you improvise?

• do you think you were too strict with your children?

• if you could change one thing about me what would it be?

• what do you remember about my character as a young child?

• what were parties like when you were a young man/woman?

• what’s the best time of life for a man/woman?

• do you fear more for a son or a daughter as they face the outside world?

• what is a parent’s primary role - teacher, protector, provider, pal, or disciplinarian?

• how have you wanted your children to think of you?

• did you ever feel complete anger and frustration at your children? how did you deal with it?

• how does a role of a dad and a mom differ?

• is there anything you’ve always wanted to ask me?

• when you were growing up, did you hope to be a father/mother someday?

• were you ever tempted to just walk away from your family responsibilities?

• what did you always want to do with your kids but never had the chance?

• what would you change about your style of fathering/mothering?

• did being a dad/mom come naturally?

• how did you and mom keep your relationship alive while raising a family?

• what makes a good spouse?

• if you were a young man/woman today, would you have a family again?

• define family.

• define a life well lived.

• what’s your favorite memory of spending time with me?

• what did you worry about most as I was growing up?

• did you parents have favorites? did you?

• what are your views on marriage?

• what advice would you give a newlywed couple?

• if you’re married, what do you value about the relationship that you share with your spouse now?

• what advice would you give a grandchild on his or her wedding day?

• when did you know you were in love?

• when was your first kiss? with whom?

• who was your first date? what did you do? where did you go on your first date?

• what does being in love mean to you?

• what was your wedding day like?

• if you could have done anything differently on your wedding day, what would it have been?

• how did you keep your relationships alive with your spouse while we were growing up? if you are divorced, how did you get along while raising us?

• what qualities and traditions make a good marriage?

• can a man or a woman find lasting happiness?

• what have you learned about being married?

• if you have been divorced, what did you learn from that experience?

• during times of trouble in your life, who did you talk to about them? how did those people help you?

• have you ever had a crush on or been in love with someone that didn’t return your affections? How did you deal with rejection?

• have there been situations in your marriage where you gave in, in order to let your spouse be right? how did that affect the relationship?

• did you fight a lot with your spouse? how did you resolve your fights?

• what qualities should I look for in a mate?

• what are your views on divorce?

• what are your views on separation?

• do you believe marriage can last forever? why or why not?

• what are the vital ingredients of a strong marriage?

• describe your marriage proposal. Was your significant other surprised?

• who could you trust and depend on during your life? How did these individuals help you?

• when did you decide to marry?

• how do you feel about the idea of soul mates? Do you feel that there are many people out there who would have made you happy?

• what are your views on premarital sex?

• how many times have you been engaged or come close to getting engaged?

• what are your views on marrying someone of another faith?

• what are your views on marrying someone with a different cultural upbringing?

• how involved were your parents in your marriage? did you ever feel they were interfering?

• do you believe it is okay for people to live together before getting married? why or why not?

• how long did you know each other before you got married?

• have you ever been in love with someone who later broke up with you? how did you handle the situation?

• who first broke your heart? what happened?

• how old were you when your parents allowed you to begin dating?

• what advice would you give about how to ask someone out on a date?

• have you kept secrets from mom/dad during your marriage? to protect you or her?

• did you enjoy being single?

• does a man “love” differently than a woman?

• how did you meet mom/dad?

• what was your wedding day like?

• what would you do if something happened to mom/dad?

• what kinds of books do you like to read?

• who had the most positive influence on your life? what did that person do?

• who helped you to develop your talents? what did they do to help you?

• who is your favorite philosopher, teacher, or writer? why is he or she your favorite?

• what person or book best expresses your philosophy on life?

• what were the hardest choices you had to make in life?

• has a public speaker ever made a big impression on you? if so, who was it and what was his or her message?

• what principle has changed the direction of your life?

• how do you feel about the choices you made in your life? what good choices did you make? do you have any regrets about your choices?

• what movie has most inspired you? why?

• what’s your favorite movie?

• what kind of music inspired or lifted you up when you felt down?

• if you were ever to write a book, what would it be about?

• what kind of friend were you to others?

• what books have you read that you enjoyed or that helped shape your life? would you recommend that I read them?

• what’s your favorite book? why?

• what television shows did you watch? why?

• where have you traveled? what are your favorite places to visit?

• where in the world would you recommend I visit before I die? why?

• did anyone ever hurt you so much that it altered the course of your life? how did you overcome your hurt?

• what motivates you?

• how have you remotivated yourself when faced with bad times?

• what are your greatest abilities or talents? describe a time when you used your talents.

• what is the most fun and interesting thing you have done in your life that you feel I should experience?

• how are you creative? what kind of things do you make?

• what good deeds have you done?

• how have you handled people that have wronged you in life?

• have you found it possible to forgive people who wronged you?

• have you ever met anyone famous? who?

• which parent taught you the most in life? what did you learn from him or her?

• what family event in your life has most affected the way you look at life? describe how it affected you and your family.

• if you were writing the story of your life, how would you divide it into chapters?

• what are the most important lessons you want to pass on to your children?

• what’s the best part of having a child?

• what did you feel the first time you cradled me in your arms?

• do you have any regrets? what are they? what’s the biggest?

• who were or has been your best friends? how have they shaped you?

• what conferences or workshops have influenced your life?

• did you have any addictions? how did they influence your outlook on life?

• who would you say had more influence in your life: your significant other, your family, or your friends? why is that?

• what are your favorite sayings or expressions?

• have you ever lost a loved one? what happened?

• should I strive to be happy, or strive to be successful?

• how will I know when I’m successful?

• how would you feel if I wanted to be an artist or poet?

• what’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made? what can I learn from it?

• are sports important? how?

• which is more important to study? art or science?

• what’s your favorite song of all time?

• in a world of compromises, how do I keep true to myself?

• how did it feel to get me go to make my own life?

• have you ever faced total despair? what did you do?

• what are your guiding principles for doing business?

• what do you think has been the number one cause of arguments?

• how old do you feel today?

• should I live with my mistakes or always try to cut my losses and make a clean start?

• should I try to retain an idealistic worldview or adopt a more pragmatic view?

• did you go as far academically as you wanted?

• when did you get your first car? what model was it?

• what world events had the most impact on you while you were growing up? did any of them personally affect your family?

• how is the world today different from when you were a child?

• all things considered, would you rather have grown up in your world or in today’s world?

• what would you consider the most important inventions that have been made during your lifetime?

• what wars have been fought during your lifetime? how did you feel about them?

• did you have to kill anyone in the war? do you ever think about those experiences?

• how did you feel about 9/11? where were you when this happened?

• how did you feel about the Gulf War? what are your opinions about it?

• is there such a thing as a “right” war?

• what are your views on voting? have you ever held an office?

• who is your favorite US president? how do you feel about the office of the US president?

• have you ever witnessed any extraordinary events? what were they?

• what natural disasters - hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and so on, have you survived?

• how did the civil rights movement or the woman’s liberation movement affect your family?

• how has war affected you and your family? which was affected you most: WWII, the Korean War, Vietnam, Gulf War?

• have you been politically active during your lifetime? what political party have you voted for?

• which presidents have you voted for?

• what events or trends in the media have you disliked the most? why?

• how do you feel about racial and religious prejudice? what causes racial or religious prejudice?

• have you ever dedicated yourself to a cause? which one?

• which charities did you contribute to and why?

• which scientific discoveries or advances have interested you the most?

• how do you view the world today? has it stayed the same, become more evil, or become better?

• if you could change a world event that has happened, which one would it be and why?

• if you could go back and change one event in your life, what would it be and how would you change it?

• were you involved in your community? what community projects have you done?

• what do you think was the most historically significant event of your lifetime? how did it affect you?

• what do you feel are the most important problems facing our country?

• if you could reverse the discovery of something for the good of mankind, what would you pick?

• is mankind born good or bad?

• if you could name the most worthy cause, compared to all others, what would it be and why?

• what is your view on abortion?

• how do you feel about same-sex marriages and homosexuality?

• has the economy ever impacted your parents or you personally?

• what clubs or groups did you belong to? why?

• what do you love about the country you live in? what do you love most?

• what do you love about the city or town you live in now?

• what or who has influenced your political views?

• have you ever killed anyone during war? what is your view on killing?

• what is your view on having weapons? did you ever own a gun or weapon?

• name 3 people you admire from history. why do you admire them?

• what have been the 3 biggest news events during your lifetime?

• if you won a million dollars, what would you do with the money?

• have you ever held an elected office in government or at a club? what was it?

• what social movements, civil rights, women’s rights, peace movements, environmental movements, have you participated in?

• with what historical figure would you like to spend time if given a chance? why?

• how do you feel about the world’s preoccupation with thinness and beauty?

• how do you feel about what is viewed on television now compared to when you were growing up?

• how should I deal with hard times?

• what’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?

• how will I know when a risk is worth taking?

• what’s the most important thing to remember about money?

• what would your advice be if I were drafted to go to war?

• who do you admire the most? why?

• what do you think has been your greatest achievement?

• do you have a philosophy on life? What’s your best piece of advice?

• what was your religion growing up? what church, if any, did you attend?

• what does jesus christ mean to you? if you’re not christian, what deity is important to you and why?

• what have been turning points in your spiritual life?

• do you believe in God. If so, how did you come to believe in Him?

• what you have done to build your faith in God?

• what does god mean to you?

• what do you feel is the purpose of life?

• what makes a good person in your eyes? what makes a bad person? what’s the mark of a good person?

• what do you believe happens to our souls when we die?

• are you afraid of dying? what will you miss the most? what are you afraid of?

• do you ever think about death?

• what do you believe happens when we die?

• has your faith ever been tested? what did you do? did it destroy or build your testimony?

• when was a time that you went out of your way to help a person? what did you do?

• what is a motto that you have lived your life by?

• is there a scripture, poem, or saying that is most meaningful to you? if so, what is it and why?

• have you ever felt that you had a special calling or mission in life? what was it?

• do you believe in ghosts and spirits? why or why not?

• do you believe in heaven? how do you envision it?

• have you ever received an answer to a prayer? how did it change your life or faith?

• why do you have a testimony of your religion?

• what lessons have you learned from helping others?

• what do you treasure most about your religion?

• what three important things that you’ve learned from religion do you want to pass on to your children?

• what is the difference between being alive and truly living?

• if god could grant you one favor, what would it be? why?

• do you believe in guardian angels? do you feel your loved ones who have passed away look over you? if so, how did you come to believe this?

• if you had to name the most important thing that has happened to your spiritual life, what would it be and why?

• if you could pick the most sacred spot that you have ever seen in this world, where would it be? why?

• if you had to make a case for the existence of God, what would you say?

• if you could have done one thing in life to make you more of a spiritual person, what would it have been? why didn’t you do that thing?

• is there anything in life that you wish you could undo?

• if you could name the most spiritual person you have ever encountered in your life, who would that be and how has he or she affected you?

• when have you felt the most spiritual in your life?

• with so many important things in a person’s life, is spirituality an important quality for a person to work on? why or why not?

• do you believe in the law of attraction - that god brings people into your life to help you achieve your goals if you live worthily? why or why not?

• do you believe in karma, what goes around comes around? why or why not?

• when was a time that you had to ask forgiveness of another person? what happened?

• how do you feel about predestination? do you feel we make life up as we go along?

• has someone hurt you in the past that you still carry a grudge about? what happened?

• have you ever changed religions? why did you switch?

• describe a time when your prayers were answered

• was there ever a time in your life that someone went above and beyond to do something kind for you? what did they do?

• do you believe in miracles? what miracles have occurred in your life?

• has there ever been a time in your life that you were moved by the spirit to do something? what did you do?

• did you say family prayers with your parents when you were growing up? why or why not?

• where do you go to relax and renew yourself? what things do you do to unwind?

• have you ever had a paranormal experience? what happened?

• do you believe we’re not alone in the universe? do you believe in extraterrestrial life? why?

• when I was born, what was your dream for me?

• do you still have goals and dreams for me? what are they? have they changed as I have grown up?

• how hard should I pursue my dreams?

• if I could do only one thing really well in life, what would you want that to be?

• were there times that I disappointed you? what would you have had me do differently?

• how do you think we’re alike? how do you think we’re different?

• what part of our relationship do you wish we could have improved?

• how do you want me to remember you?

• what do you imagine your funeral to be like?

• what have I done has made you proud?

• what is the one thing you want people to remember about you?

• what makes you most proud of your gender? what makes you not proud?

• what is the one thing you want me to be better at than you are?

• if you could go back to any age and relive it, which would it be and why?

• how do you feel about growing older? what have been the best and worst things?

• do you feel I’m a good father or mother to my children? how would you counsel me to be better?

• what makes a good dad/mom?

• what makes a good son/daughter?

• what is the most important thing you recommend I do or experience in my life that you did or did not get to do?

• is there anything you have wanted to say to me but never have? what is it?

• how important has physical appearance been to your life?

• what would you have done differently if no one had been there to judge you?

• if you were to write your own epitaph, what would it say?

• if you could have avoided knowing about something in your life, what would it be?

• what was the happiest time of your life? what was your happiest teenage day?

• what was the saddest time or your life?

• how would you describe your life overall - difficult, easy, happy, sad, lucky, unlucky, satisfying, unsatisfying? why?

• in your opinion, what matters most in this life?

• how did you feel when I was born?

• what’s the most embarrassing thing that you have done or that has happened to you?

• how much do you love me? my siblings?

• have you ever had something awful happen in your life that made you feel like giving up? what kept you from giving up?

• what grudges do you wish that you would have let go of earlier?

• what is the most memorable phone call, card, or present you ever received?

• how have you stayed the same during your life? how have you changed?

• what is your typical day like now? how is it different than in the past? is it better?

• how should people prepare for their senior years? is there anything you would have done differently?

• if you live another thirty years, what will you do with your life?

• what is your favorite part of your retirement years?

• what things have given you the most pleasure or satisfaction in life?

• how have your children made you proud?

• what is the wisest decision you have made in your life?

• what did you always want to do but never had the chance?

• what’s your own golden rule?

• what was the worst decision of your life?

• life is unpredictable - what’s the best way to handle its surprises?

• is my life already determined or am I in control of my destiny?

• how has your life changed since retirement?

• if you could change one thing about yourself physically, what would it be?

• if you could change one thing about yourself mentally, what would it be?

• if you could change one thing about yourself spiritually, what would it be?

• if you could change one thing about yourself emotionally, what would it be?

Quotes

the unexamined life is not worth living - socrates

to the questions of your life, you’re the answer. To the problems of your life, you are the solution - jo coudert

time is a powerful river of passing events; no sooner is one thing brought to sight than it is swept away and another takes its place - and this, too, will be swept away

References